Sometimes, the right words can make all the difference. Teach Your Child to Use Expressive Language A teething ring or other teething toys, kept within easy reach of your child, can help them through the urge to bite. Putting things in their mouth is a common way children learn to explore, and biting is a natural extension of that. While this is especially important to consider if your toddler is going through a painful teething stage, even non-teething children may go through a biting phase. If your child is showing a strong urge to bite (including other children, you, toys, or even themselves), giving them something else to bite on can greatly help out. For instance, if they tend to hit and kick when they’re asked to share, you’ll know to keep a close eye on them on playdates, and you can be ready to jump in to help redirect their emotions. This can also help you keep an eye out for any aggressive behaviour and stop it before it starts. If you’ve noticed that your child always acts up when they’re somewhere over stimulating (like a busy store, public transport, or a loud relative’s house), you can take steps to make the situation more comforting for them. Once you’ve learned what sets off your child, it can be far easier to prevent them from physically reacting. Make sure your child feels safe and supported when sharing their emotions and opening up don’t judge or mock them for reacting strongly to what you may feel is a small issue. You can help your child by asking questions that allow them to open up about their feelings “Sharing is hard for you, isn’t it?” “What Tommy said to you made you feel angry, right?” or by allowing them to lash out in less destructive ways such as screaming into a pillow, popping bubble wrap, crying it out, etc. It’s a natural instinct to react physically when angry, afraid, or confused and more healthy reactions often need to be learned and practiced. Help Your Child Find Healthy Ways to Express Their Emotionsīeing a child is hard: they’re dealing with brand new emotions and situations, and have yet to learn how to best handle negative feelings. Keep in mind, though, that you don’t want to shame your child instead, treat it as a learning experience. If they’ve already hit someone, you can allow them to be present while you console and care for the injured child, so that they can see that their actions have reactions. If they try to physically hurt you or another person, calmly and gently tell them, “Hitting can hurt so-and-so. They’re just now learning to link actions with consequences, so this can be a very challenging task for them. Very often, a child will bite or kick another without actually realising that it can hurt the other person. Typically, a toddler will move on to another experiment quickly. You can also, calmly, tell them “How about we go kick a ball instead?” but be sure not to yell or frighten them. If they’re attempting to kick you, step far enough away that they can’t reach you. For instance, if they’re trying to hit another child, gently hold onto their hand and begin to redirect their attention “How about we look at what is over here instead’. If you’ve determined that your toddler is kicking or biting out of curiosity, then the best thing to do is find a way to calmly stop them from making contact until they become distracted by something else. (Any parent knows how surprisingly strong even a tiny toddler can be.) If you need to give yourself a moment to calm down before you address your child, take it.Īn angry, upset, or scared child will react much more positively to a calm parent, so you’re doing the best thing for both of you by caring for your own emotional needs first. It can be easy to feel angry, frustrated, or overly-emotionally when your child bites or kicks-especially if they end up hurting you. The cause may even be something as simple as teething. It’s also common for a child to react physically when they are feeling insecure or intimated. Other times, your child may lash out because they are feeling frustrated or angry and don’t know how to express it. Some toddlers will hit, bite or kick as a form of experimentation. To help figure out the best way to react to your child’s aggressive behaviour, you’ll want to zero in on why your child is behaving aggressively in the first place. Thankfully, with the right techniques and frame of mind, you can help guide your child to more peaceful, calm interactions with others. After all, children are just learning to regulate and respond to their emotions, so occasional outbursts are to be expected. Even the best-behaved, gentlest toddler will occasionally act out by biting, hitting, or kicking those around them. Learning how to cope with and help a child who lashes out physically is a task many parents will have to face.
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